Cat Names

The very first pet I had was a black-and-white cat named Solomon Firebucket III. There's something about cats that makes us  hang extravagant names on them. Perhaps it's because they don't actually respond to their names (as opposed to the sound of a can opener, a door opening, or that tick-tick noise you make with your tongue up against your hard palate). So the name is purely for decoration and you can do what you want.

We had a cat named Kitty once. It wasn't our fault, we inherited him from someone who died. The vet was not pleased with us for not giving the cat a better name. In fact, at home we called him Booge, Binks, and a host of other nicknames.

T. S. Eliot wrote a poem, The Naming of Cats , wherein he suggested names like Carbucketty, Rum Tum Tugger, Mungojerrie, Rumpelteazer, and Macavity. He named his own cat Jellylorum. Mark Twain had cats named Blatherskite, Beelsebub, Sour Mash, and Zoroaster. President Carter's daughter Amy had a Siamese named Misty Marlarky Ying Yang while they lived in the White House. Wilberforce lived at 10 Downing Street while four Prime Ministers came and went. Cheddar was the Prime Kitty of Canada. Khouli-Khan sailed around the world on the HMS Centurion, and Mrs. Chippy went to the Antarctic with Shackelton (but sadly, did not return).

My younger brother and I co-owned Gaby and Cirocco, who were named after the heroines of a sci-fi series. After them I had a sweet little plush grey kitty for a while whom I named Phydgit. Then I had Mandu (get it?) who lives with my other brother now.

My sister's pet names were all puns for a long time (her ducks were Ova, Via, and Aqua). She had a silver tabby whom she named Platapuss, which her Spanish-speaking vet (plata means silver in Spanish) loved. After that they went through a phase of naming cats for whales. Orca was black-and-white, Minke was all black.

A boyfriend got a cat that was black with a white stripe that spiraled around his body. I thought of course he should be Helix the Cat, but this idea was rejected and he became Skookumchuck.

One time on vacation we were adopted temporarily by another black-and-white cat. She looked like a nun, so we named her Sister Mary. This got us talking about pope names, and someone wondered if there ever would be a Pope Buster, and so the cat became Sister Mary Buster. She was also about as wide as she was long, and someone said she was built like a dump truck, so by the end of the weekend she was Sister Mary Buster Dumptruck. Rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it?

Last year at school we watched a televised lecture by a woman named Phyllis Tickle, and I immediately decided that my next cat must be Felix Tickle. But now we're singing the Bach Magnificat, and since it's a German work we have to pronounce the Latin like Germans do, "Mog ni fi cat." My friend Sydney and I have decided that one of us needs to get a magnificent cat and name it Magnificat, pronounced the German way so it can be Moggy for short --  "moggy" is the British equivalent of our "kitty".