Your Turn

Today I read a guest essay in the Washington Post by a 31-year-old man who has "lost faith" with his parents' generation. "They have failed us, over and over and over again.. . .They have had their time to lead. Time’s up. I’m tired of waiting for them to live up to obligations." He goes on to list how easy we had it when we were young and how we blew it.

We boomers know, none better, that every generation focuses mostly on what their parents did wrong. It's necessary if we are to progress at all. Outrage, for most people, fuels change, gives us the energy to work towards something better.

It does, however, blind you to a lot. Then you get a little older, you get tired of being angry, which is a powerful fuel but burns out quickly, and you look for another kind of fuel to keep you going, and if you're lucky, sooner or later you realize that love and hope are more sustaining. When my generation got to that point, that's when you started hearing all about "The Greatest Generation." When we started to recognize that despite not being perfect, our parents' generation had managed to stop a great evil at an enormous cost to themselves. I can see that the problems that seemed so huge to us paled next to Hitler.

I wrote a reply:

Thomas, those of us in your parents' generation were not here to lead. (Sadly, although we had some great leaders, most of them got assassinated!) We were the "hinge" generation that decided to put a stop to the old ways that included sexism, racism, alcoholism, and abuse. Instead of perpetuating these things we raised consciousness, held teach-ins and demonstrations, and above all, looked to ourselves for the things we needed to change. Ours was the generation that brought the concept of reflexivity to scholarship, where the scholar realizes he or she is not objective and does not stand apart from or above the thing (or people) studied, so they better look at their own attitudes first.

We knew what we didn't want. But as anyone who has been an adolescent has to realize sooner or later, knowing what you reject can only define you so far. We had no model for what would be better. We have tried many things to see if they would work. Most haven't. Some have. But I'll tell you this: we changed a lot of things. Things are better - not perfect, certainly, but better - for women, for minorities, for the disabled, and for victims of abuse who are now believed and comforted instead of shamed and punished.

Rather than complaining about how we have failed you, I suggest your generation get over your sense of entitlement that mom and dad will hand you everything (which I admit we instilled in you in an attempt to make sure you grew up with a better sense of self-esteem than we had), and take responsibility for yourselves.

We took the change as far as we could. Your turn.

I too look forward to the leaders that will emerge from your generation.